Dec 19, 2008

Notes To My Son's Future Therapist

RE: "Dildo" the Caterpillar

Yes. Okay? Yes. I named his toy caterpillar Dildo. Why? Because it looks like a freaking dildo, that's why. And besides, he was a baby. I don’t know if you know this, but babies can be really, really boring. So yes, I started calling his toy caterpillar Dildo. It was funny. It made my husband laugh. It helped alleviate some of the monotony of my day. Did I forsee him becoming attached to Dildo and hanging on to him well into his verbal years? No. Did I want him to melt down in the middle of Target screaming “I want my Dildo!!!” at the top of his lungs? Of course not. But you know what? You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So let’s just move on, shall we?

5 comments:

rich said...

You may have us beat...our son's little monkey doll got the nickname Spanky in a road trip haze...we're glad that that's a toy that has fallen out of rotation as his verbal skills increase.

bridget said...

Oh SHIT, Stacy. I'm still laughing.

I think we had a dildo caterpillar too. Is it a Gund brand toy that has multicolored sections? Actually we had two. A really big one and one that was life sized. I was pretty bored too. ;-)

Dale said...

:-) can't type for laughing.

Sarah said...

Thanks for all the great laughs at Live Wire - you were the hit of the show. I'm still smiling about the blue unitard. Hilarious!

PrettymuchJulia said...

I found your blog through a link from Marc's blog.

I had NO idea what I was getting into. Here I was, at work browsing my reader, and I read this entry. I laughed until I cried.

Thank you.